At about 5 years old, I suspected Santa Clause was not real!! Being as curious as I was I was anxious to find out. Everyone around me talked of Santa Clause and kept reminding me I had to be good, if I wanted a visit from him. He would bring me toys and things I wanted...But living among kids of all ages, mostly older, I was bombarded with comments about Santa and it seemed there was an underlying joke. I could here the false tone in their voices, like they were trying to make me believe something....that I was questioning. I imagine I did tell my Mom and Dad. I didn't believe in Santa Clause because all the other kids were lying to me. They were telling me something not true...My mother tried to ease my suspicions of the fleeting notion that Santa Clause just wasn't true..by reminding me he comes and brings gifts to only good little children. I continued to search out the truth. I asked everyone I knew. Had they seen him, how do they know he is even real!!..The older kids would laugh and joke with me...about not believing...and told me if I didn't believe I wouldn't get any presents. I have to confess it wasn't about the presents I cared about. It was the facts. Were all of these people were telling me the truth?...I wanted to know the truth and I hated people telling me stuff that wasn't real or true!! On Christmas Eve before dark. I remember we were just getting ready to sit down to supper...and I heard bells out side the door and loud yells of HO...HO..HO..My father looked at me and said, Oh, no who's that..I ran to the door and saw a huge man in a suit of red and trimmed in white fur...black boots, and covered in white beard, long hair and mustache. Yes, It was really him...Santa..Shocked and disbelieving, I hid behind my Dad while he answered the door, greeted Santa, and shook his white gloved hand!!..Santa bent down and asked me, in a deep loud voice, What do you want for Christmas??? Stunned I stammered something out of my mouth, who knows what, and as he bent down to be about my size..he open his sack and handed me a small gift. It was wrapped up in a bow. He informed me to put it under my bed and it would grow into something very special...As he left my mouth still hanging to the floor..I now believed in Santa Clause. I saw him with my own eyes...He even gave me a gift. A special gift right from his own hand and it was going to grow into something miraculous. I imagined in my mind...it would magically grown and turn into something spectacular as only Santa Clause can make happen!!!.... Bedtime came and I went to bed with expectancy in my heart!!..The next morning was Christmas. I jumped out of bed and the first thing I did was look under my bed for a something miraculous, something wonderful...the little package was still there. Still wrapped the way it was when I put it under there...?? This thing didn't even grow!! I was disappointed. I took it out and opened it... It was a candy bar!!...A CANDY BAR!! Can you imagine, I had these great dreams of something so spectacular growing under my bed, and it turns out to be a candy bar!!!...At this point I now know....even Santa Clause can't be trusted...He lied to me...and I was looking for something miraculous!! and I got a dumb candy bar!!!....I think that was the last year I believed in Santa Clause..One of my first lessons of deception!!.. and from Santa Clause of all people!! I know now, to trust my judgments. As bad as they are most times...but at least I have no one to blame for my ill decisions but myself...I do know this, the miraculous wonderment I was looking for in Santa, I found in Jesus...and He will fulfill all my expectations...and my dreams, because He said so!! and I believe Him...I won't be disappointed!! I won't!! I trust him and I believe what He says!!......BECAUSE HE LOVES ME!!!
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